Best Thing I (Should Never) Ever Had

Best Thing I (Should Never) Ever Had

that sunrise makes itself
apparent,

'remember that silver cloud?'

the voice breaks through
the already-shattered window
but first dances in the billowing-tube
of the wind-dancing curtain

making it sound so far-away, far-off,
as if its arriving through a century
of discombobulated traffic and space

my hands meet my temples
the gods are alive in my eyes
and those written letters never-sent
rise in the grains of wisdom
spilling from the ego that had long pushed me
the one that said, 'relent makes you look mistaken'
the one whose foot fell in front
of all the tombs I wanted to melt into

I know two things in this state
i know more than s'posed to me                                maybe
i should
less than i do
maybe i should listen 'stead o'know
maybe i that way i could help you go,

'No, I don't remember those silver clouds.' I mutter
and to that you would take off,
like an emotional kite into the night you lived trying to avoid
into the night we used to talk about; that made your skin crawl
and your eyes water like prophets, the night that was the dooms day
of our union-

'Maybe,' I'll add.
'If you promise me this one thing,
maybe just maybe, I won't 'em you
were the one who led me to bask
in the manila fold of your soul- in your furcula
of sin- tell 'em you bred the lie,
and I'll remember that cloud, boo.'

©Raeez Jacobs. Poetry. 2013.